Caudillos

Bad: Violence, Good: Order

Serotonin Come Back

Today I feel as though all my serotonin has disappeared. I am trying to decide if I have been having too-much-fun and now my person is upset with me. So I woke up and made a list of things I need to do, in hopes that it'll come back.

-Make calendar

-Study (two midterms this week)

-Read "Everything Is Illuminated"

-Journal

-Scholarships

-Letters

-Write in composition book

-Draw

Trying to balance out things I would like to do with things I have to do. Basically I've set up a good alone-day to do alone-things.

Everyday when I think about leaving Argentina (which is several times a day) I feel a knot in my stomach and a whole lot of confusion. I don't like thinking about it. On the one hand I know that there are great things to look forward to, an apartment off campus, lovely people... but I am not looking forward to it yet. It feels distant yet looming over me. Living here is my-life-part-two... related to part one but completely different. I feel strange about revisiting part one. 

I feel that I have NOT been speaking a lot of Spanish, and this really upsets me. I don't want to speak English anymore.

La verdad es que no sé que quiero. No puedo decidir donde quiero ir, o con quien. Me siento como una persona viviendo en un mundo imaginario, dentro de una burbuja. No puedo decidir si es mejor no pensar en el futuro, viviendo en el presente... 

Supongo que esto es una tristeza normal, que solo viene debez en cuando y solo queda para momentos, horas, quizas un día. A veces cuando intento de entender cada palabra que dice una persona, no entiendo ningún.

Cosas que estoy haciendo o he hecho: visitando parques, cocinando (mucho), ir a la partida de fútbol de amigos acá, dibujando, aprendiendo canciones en la guitarra, tomando collectivos, grabando (en cassette), visitar una estancia (la finde pasada), feria en San Telmo, comprar entradas a Regina Spektor en Octubre (!)...

Tengo dos parciales esta semana, y uno el proximo viernes. Entonces, voy a tener una semana entero de vacaciones...queiro hacer algo copado pero no sé donde ni con quien. Pienso que quiero ir a Uruguay porque es re cerca y no va a costar mucho. Tambien mis amigos estaban hablando sobre el posibilidad de hacer "WWOOF" (http://www.wwoof.org/) para una semana. No sé si ellos estan serio, pero pienso que quiero hacerlo si- no pronto, quizas en Diciembre. (Quiero ir a Patagonia en Diciembre y sería bueno si puedo hacer WWOOF para una semana antes.)

besos

amor.amor.amor.

No Kitty Love.

I walked in the house and pet the cat. I ran upstairs to get paper to make study guides for my midterm next week. I came back downstairs and the cat was waiting at the bottom, meowed. "Okay will you come cuddle with me?" He meowed and I walked over to the couch where the cat sometimes jumps to for company. He meowed again and stopped a few feet from the couch, layed down, rolled around, and then went and sat in the adjacent room.

Predictable.

Dear Cat, Please Come Back.

love.love.love.

More Castellano Please.

 I feel like the best way to work on Spanish would be to leave English behind altogether.

Besides, I keep having these long conversations with the cat and dog here at home, and they don't speak English so they keep giving me these blank looks.

love.love.love.

Sketches

Reserva Ecológica

Was just remembering how I lost the pictures on my digital camera, several of which were taken at the reserva ecológica at the beginning of my trip here. Am thankful that I have a sketch of it, even if it's from my friend Ian's photo.

Riley

And I'm just glad in general that I can have sketches from this trip- this is riley listening to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- which played on our 18 hr bus ride.

Strange Things Are A Brewin'

Today felt like a cold autumn day,

but it's really a winter day staying late.