bed is cursed

I can fall asleep anywhere but here-

on our couch with the lights on,

sitting on the cold floor shivering,

at my desk with the movie playing.

I can sleep in your bed with flat pillows,

during a meeting at the office,

on the subway with strangers looking,

in a sunny bed on campus.

I can fall asleep anywhere but here-

moments after fighting for consciousness,

I reach the comfort of my own bed,

only to toss and turn.

Coughing fits take me when I think I've won,

Silence overwhelms my imagination,

music is consistantly too loud-

hypotheticals hold me for hours,

tears run down my cheeks when I think I'm fine,

I pull in the covers when my body shivers,

I take off pjs when I'm overheating-

I set my phone on the sheets beside me

in case I need it as a last resort.