High School Claudia

GOSH!  Being home, ya know?
My last month in Boston I was starting to feel guilty because everyone was acting so emotional and I felt so stone faced. Of course it was strange to be graduating, and I would be moving a lot farther than most of my roommates and friends, but I was pretty casual about it. My last week there I was trying to remember the last time I had really cried and I couldn't. (Normal occurrence for a lot of boys, not so with the lady friends I hang out with.) I decided it was probably in January, which felt like ages ago. I thought about how in high school I used to cry all the time! I mean every day I would be crying about something! Of course in high school I was a lot more emotional in general, so I try to dismiss this comparison.

Or so I thought!

I've only been home a few days and I've cried every day! How old am I? (22!) It's noon and I've already cried today, how is this possible? I guess there's something about being home that really affects me. Family drama has been high. My mother is flying to Spain on Monday to see her family and a lot has been going on. I also had an upsetting series of dreams last night where both of my grandmothers passed away and my nanny job e-mailed me to say they were going to stick with their nanny from last summer--checked my e-mail this morning, not true. I still have the job.

It's just crazy to me that I went from feeling like I couldn't express emotions, and now I'm all emotional and babbling to my friends and making long distance phone calls and sobbing about my feelings while I hear about my friend's much more taxing day with real work life.

This morning my mom said she feels weird about me sleeping in my room where the internet router and all these chords are- she said she heard they give off bad energy or something. So I'm down with that theory.

It feels like I've been here a lot longer than I have. But today should be good. No more crying! I'm going to help my mom move stuff out of her classroom (because she is switching rooms) and then I'm going to get together with my friend. I told him "let's go somewhere beautiful" which should be an easy task around here.


love.love.love.