This is my one-hundredth post.
I think I had been planning on making it especially lovely or cheerful, but I think it will be normal after all.
There are times when we get pissed at people...and I think it's important we remind ourselves maybe there's more to the story...maybe there's a reason we just don't understand. That's what I need to remind myself. Maybe there is a reason my friend didnt answer, maybe there is a reason the message wasn't replied to... and i always feel terrible when I get frustrated with my friends for those things and then later find out there was a ridiculously legit reason my friend didn't pick up or the message wasn't replied to. That leaves me feeling like an idiot for assuming I knew what was going on.
I only have eleven days of classes left. (That is to say, finals, senior day of recollection, and royal day do not count.) It's kind of odd because I feel like there is a lot we still have to do, and I really don't see how it will all be possible in the end. It's also odd knowing that after the year is over there will be a lot of people I won't see or talk to. I'll still talk to some classmates, but there are all those people I pass by in the hall each day, the people I smile at and think "boy i wish i talked to them"... and pretty soon I won't have that chance and I won't see those faces. That makes me a bit sad.
I guess there is a lot on my mind but I can never seem to pinpoint it when talking to people.
I've actually felt damn awkward with people these past two days, but I really feel that given the proper situation I would have a lot i need to talk about. I just don't really know who or when that is ...occuring.
Also, i need to get a job...and I haven't been looking because i'm an idiot. Similarly i didnt register for orientation in time and now we have to pay for a plane flight in the middle of summer, doubling the cost of orientation for my family. i feel stupid about that, really.
OKAY well i hope that people know i'm always here to talk to...i hope i'm not intimidating?
lovelovelove
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About Me
- claudia [is mostly here]
- Slowly i think im becoming more quiet but at the same time opening up to people who want to be open in return. I'm a pretty friendly person, and am always up for hanging out. Hi.
1 comment:
you're not intimidating. I still come read these every once in a while when my head is exploding with thoughts or emotion and I need to make sure there are sane-yet-emotional people in the world.
On my wall there is a picture of you. the famous one we've talked about often of you at the disco dance. there's a black space between you and whitney so that is where a heart someone once made for me out of a paperclip now rests, on the tack. I thought it was the only picture it'd work on because of the space. today I came into my room and someone had a. messed with the heart to make it more perfect than it used to be, and b. moved it to the picture of mark below it. I got really mad about that. the heart goes to you and I loved its imperfection. anyway, cheers. to life. this has nothing to do with this post but yesterday I was thinking of how we can feel so many emotions at once, how we can go from one to the next in a second, and how our life is based on our interaction with others soo much that their smallest actions can change our day or the way we think about it. Even though this sucks a lot of the time and we are confused, it's amazing. simply amazing. we are so cool! anyway, thought you might appreciate that thought. love you
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