Luckily (until recently) I've grown to fall alseep much easier, usually without needing to journal (which is a bit sad that I don't journal as much, but great that I still fall asleep to music each night).
The occassions on which it happens, perhaps, I just realized may be when I am filled with lonelinesss. Up until a month or two ago it was just when my paranoia kicked in and I would have to go crawl in someone's bed.
Once when I was home, sometime after my mother bought her house-meaning Sophomore or Junior year- I was so scared that I had to pick up my phone and call my mother who was in the other room. This time I was convinced someone was at my window. Supposedly these fears are unfounded (I blame society of course), though that reminds me of the house in Los Osos where we all used to live. There was someone knocking on the door but it was late and I didnt want to get the door. And my sister woke up eventually too and came in my room. The stranger was persistant, and then we heard the person try to turn the knob, which was locked. And it was terrifying.
MY SISTER JUST TEXTED ME AND SAID "IM REALLY SCARED. ABOUT LIFE. TERRIFIED"
how did she know...
(Also I think that means I really am psychic-she just told me that the text didnt go through the first time she sent it)
Well anyways. So I called 911, made them stay on the phone, and woke up my mom who went to the door to check...and it was a neighbor who said we had left our car lights on and wanted us to know-
at like...2 in the morning or whatever it was.
So like I was saying, lately my trouble sleeping at night is when I feel lonely. Which possibly happens too much considering how many people I am always around.
The people-that must be the problem. I need to give up people all together.
Oh god maybe I'll make myself tea so that I sleep- dont want to have to have another reason for not going to my internship in the morning
1 comment:
Rofl. That's pretty paranoid
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