Potential End of the World

So the other day I went into Student Services to ask them to please remove the hold on my account. [I signed up for an 11am math class but now want to take it at 10am so that I can make it to an internship in the city.] So since it was an issue of tuition being paid, I went to talk to a credit-er... is that what it's called? A person who works with credit related issues and loans and forms and things.

I was called into this guy's office, and looked around while he pulled up my file. The office is in a basement, with one small rectangle window at the top, letting in a super small amount of light. The walls are pretty bare, except for a calendar and three or four posters. I recognize some of the shots, one looks just like Sedona in Arizona. There's one that could be a beach on Cape Cod, one of mountains... the calendar is all nature scenes. You can see a few photos of people on his desk, lit up by bright florescents.

He was incredibly nice considering how unappealing his job seems to me. It made me wonder why he would want to spend his days in an unnaturally lit office (which I kind of pointed out to him), discussing loans with kids and parents and agencies. Especially when he was obviously sympathetic about the lack of alternatives when it came to my financial aid. I thought about how maybe he has this job because he does hate the system, and he wants to try to help students that have to deal with it and don't understand it. Like a martyr.

Well it got me to thinking about the series The Hunger Games, which my whole aparment is reading. (Except Andrea has yet to start it.) In this book there are 12 districts, each of which must randomly choose a boy and girl to go and compete in "the hunger games" yearly. In this game, game makers simulate a harsh environment in which all of the chosen kids must fight until their death. It's the capitol's punishment for a revolt years and years ago. So part of this is that each kid has a designer team to pump up the public's enthusiasm about that contestant. In the book, the main character's fashion designer clearly thinks the Hunger Games are fucked up--and you can tell he really just wants the girl to survive, and doesnt really care about all the capitol bullshit even though he has to be a slave for them.

Well it gets me to thinking about all these novels and the downfall of society, and with keeping up with the NYT I kind of do believe society is falling apart. I express this sentiment to others on occassion, but I'm pretty serious about it. Obviously who is to say how long it would take for so many freedoms to be lost, and for there to be government control to that extent. But I do often feel like everything is falling apart. It scares me when people view slight changes that bother me as improvement. It makes me think I'm crazy and paranoid. But then I leave and hang out with other people outside of my immediate friend group--- and sometimes I find reassurance there.

Something more optimistic or different later...

love.love.love.

claudia