Nothings.

I understand anxiety better now-
it's not a lack of motivation to do something
it's just can't can't can't.
I actually remember once, junior year of high school-around then,
after dinner feeling really anxious
about cleaning the table.
It felt stupid to proclaim I couldn't.
This feels different,
it's more like I can't
because it feels fruitless.

I was thinking about children,
how we interact with them
isn't it like an acting game?
The way I act around a child is the way I act around a pet,
raising my voice to a higher pitch,
exaggerating my gestures.
Isn't it a bit like lying,
to let a child believe your behavior is normal
that you always wave to people around you and make silly faces-
at least that's what I do around kids.

It's frustrating,
I want to write something
I want to explain something in depth
but I feel like I can't grasp anything.

Okay so let me get this straight.
Religion should actually be founded on uncertainty,
so how do they come to so many conclusions?
Why do we use the word 'god'?
Why don't we substitute it?
And if we did, would that word become as worn?
Also am I spiritual?
I think I possess many qualities that people would describe as spiritual
but I'm not sure I would describe them as such.

Do I care that someone described me as,
"that tall skinny brunette who looks like she's mad all the time" ?
Not really.
You win some you lose some.
Maybe you mostly lose some.

When we couldn't decide on dinner (aren't mashed potatoes too similar to pasta?)
Michael suggested burgers with pancakes as buns.
That was a good idea.

Today I sat by a mostly-stranger in one of my classes.
We passed around candy that our teacher gave us.
I got bored of mine.
The stranger seemed bored of his too.
I put the last section of my chocolate bar on his desk,
and he set the rest of his on mine,
I like that that was an understood trade.

After all the home improvements Peter made to our apartment this weekend,
I feel very compelled to be handy myself,
and find it very admirable.

Remember when you were making out in my room and I probably interrupted twice because I forgot but I turned on the decorative chili lights for you?

The cat in the plant store across the street is sick.
I love the plant store.
I think it would be nice to work there,
they were hiring once.

Falling asleep on the wrong side of the bed seems to heavily influence the side I wake up on.
Also, I need new pajama pants.