I Am The Queen of Nothing's Wrong

Remind me in four or five days to tell you about something comical I said in eighth grade, just not now.


There are things that shouldn't be said at night in an empty parking lot.
There are moments when you wonder why the fuck you are who you are. I told myself I would never consider caring about other people too much a weakness but,

I woke up and felt fine until I remembered where my train of thought lie, and you don't know how closely the mind and body are, even after being told so many times in science class. First my heart beat fast which made it hard to breath, and i had to make up random things to make it slow down. Then suddenly my room just felt ridiculously cold and i curled into a ball. As I felt this cold, my stomach started aching and i rubbed it gently. I hadn't eaten dinner the night before and had gone to sleep starving, but now that didn't even matter or cause the problem.

Surprises in mind are a waste of time it turns out. It was too nice anyways though wasn't it?

I think I've changed a lot in the past week, figured a lot of stuff out. How every day at school I will voluntarily be introverted and hardly say a word. But how come weekend I feel alive again. And now I'm wondering if all weekends for the whole year will be me, in school-week form.
And it's seven
and i have to go
because i need to go play tennis
and people will watch me hit the ball and ask "wow, what emotion is being taken out on THAT tennis ball?"
and you know what?
i won't say i word.
i just wont.