part two

i guess ill stray from that last post
(even though one of my friend's mothers once got her jaw stuck shut due to stress and she couldnt open it for a few days and now my jaw really hurts and is clenched)
because i want to tell you about the good things that happened today:
1)i made full use of my time by waking up at 630. Got to santa maria to play tennis. each team would play 90 games total. and when i say team i mean doubles team, as in, each person would play 90 games. i played 30, then took a break, then played another 10. it was a tournament and when i left we were undefeated (and we ended up winning the tournament). i didnt really talk about life, but i sat and ate food and played and played well...
2)i got three hours of community service done. after the three (working at a thriftstore) i bought three dresses, pants, two shirts, and a sweater.
3)my friend picked me up and i went to her house
4)we played guitar and talked about what really matters
5)we put on dresses
6)we bought food
7)went to mitchell park. beautiful from afar as you walk up and see dots of light in the gazebo. shadows of people. as you approach there is a circle full of blankets, people, candles, and food in the middle. talking. i sit down with my friends, so happy to BE THERE. this is why i live. because sometimes life is like it was tonight. and we share food, and listen to the coolest music, random stuff. and people play guitars. and we sing. and we dance. i liked that i was so happy to hear music, that i would wiggle and dance just sitting...and when a cool song was played, i'd jump up and dance around the circle pulling people into hugs. being there, i felt loved. and i think all of us did a little.
At one point some song came on and for whatever reason i jumped up, climbed over the gazebo and ran away. just ran across the grass, barefoot. and i could hear the people in the gazebo noticing. and i just ran so hard. two people ran out and joined me, one said "why are you running?" and i said "i had to run away from everyone" which had the response of "you're amazing". and you know what? so are they, so are all of them. and when i sat down my friend said, "what made you run, love?" and i said calmly and quietly, "the music came on and i had to run away"...
And candles dripped wax. Candles stood up in apples. drips and lines of wax formed on the bottles, candles stuck to the ground. it all made me happy and pleased.
At times when we were singing i looked around at the faces. some were sad, and i tried to read what they were thinking. some were kind, and it was kind of a beautiful happiness. and hugs goodbye, and goodnights...
you know free hug day? i think i only got to hug one person... I hugged so many more today.
you don't need a reason to hug today. because as far as everyone tonight knew, we were hugging because we love, not because there was any other reason we needed to be hugging, no one has to explain sometimes.
8)came home. said goodnight to family. talk to friends. and thought "big girls don't cry" but i guess im not that big of a girl, because fact of the matter is: i will miss them.


night