Okay wow so this weekend has been...I dont even know. Parts of it I only vaguely recall...friends, football game, uptown, staying up till 4 am and waking at 2 pm...picnic in the dark on the roof of my middle school, homecoming dance, denny's, friend's house, drive home at 130am, sleep at 330am (230am on new time)...wake up at 1130am(new time), rush to tennis party, come home, go see darjeeling limited with kyle, bump into sydney and nate in theatre.
Movie was good, yeah. I want to go to India (still).
After the movie I was driving when I realized nate and sydney might need a ride, so i called them and gave them one. Once in morro bay, nate said he wanted to drive, so i pulled over. big mistake. nathan cannot drive... So i took over again, and took them both home.
Now for the actual blog:
First of all, i've been thinking in tetris: hardxcore. I keep seeing tetris shapes and trying to make them all fit. Even words in my planner are shapes that i automatically think I need to flip to fit into the word next to it. It's...crazy. And really distracting. Really distracting.
So I guess I started feeling weird a bit before dinner. I wasn't really sure what to do with myself, and suddenly I was in my room in front of my halloween candy. (In michigan, our neighbors new us so well my sister and i would get candy bags with our names on them from the neighbors.) So i ate some random candy, then walked upstairs because dinner was ready. I'm still not too into tofu...but i ate some. and then i just sat there. I was supposed to do the dishes, but i suddenly felt really anxious, and i couldnt do the dishes. when my mom said "why can't you do the dishes?" i could only say "i dont know...i can't". It sounded ridiculous, but i felt like i couldn't move. Eventually I started but suddenly I couldn't handle it. I went and stood in the bathroom, not knowing what to do, so I jumped in the shower. Afterwards I stood, still not knowing what to do, so I went in my room to start homework. I was trying to focus on English, when my dad came in. After he left I just broke down because I didnt know what was going on. I'm not really sure how I feel right now. Eventually I did calculus for about an hour...which took my mind off everything, so now I feel normal again.
Maybe I need to take things easy.
The weekend really was good though, really good.
(i dont really know anything anymore, just some random sentences i phrase together.)
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2 comments:
umm
I know your Tetris mindset may be very distracting
but I very much like the idea of it all
pieces fitting together to form one geometric shape and whatnot
I'm not very good at tetris
I don't mean that in any metephorical way
I'm just not good at tetris
its a hard game (in my opinion, I know millions disagree)
how are you?
a couple days in a row i was playing free cell all the time. and i know exactly what you mean. i had to stop playing it, because it was so distracting. making the cards red and black stacked on top of eachother, and the numbers going down and everything. it's weird. but i get it. you might want to stop playing... really.
and i hope you're okay.
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