You Are Not College Material

Okay. That's interesting that you say that...

Even when I'm on my best behavior, even when I'm just sitting there, I'm still doing something wrong, aren't I? I shouldn't have set my phone on the table, I guess that was just encouraging someone to pick it up and take it. Well finally I calmly got up and walked down to the bathroom. I ran the hot water, stood in the shower. Then I let the bath fill up as the water continued to pour down from the showerhead and i curled up in a ball. Last year my friend told me she does this, and how she fell asleep. It's pretty nice, just curled up with the water pouring over you as you close your eyes and steam adds a whole new dimension to breathing. Eventually I just layed there with a full bath tub, the water stopped. I couldn't decide if I liked my ears submerged so that all I could hear were muffled sounds, or if I liked to have my head above the water so that I could make out the voices upstairs.
You can call me immature all you want, really.
I was thinking this morning, about my people skills. I guess this started when I saw someone across the street, and chose to kept walking because this someone doesn't like me anyways. But then they called my name and I turned around and we talked. . . which was interesting. So then I walked away thinking about my people skills, wondering if they are bad. In person I am so awkward, I look down awkwardly and mix up my words and my thoughts. But here, or in writing, I love the way i communicate. So does that mean I have bad communication skills? Do I have bad communication skills if I can communicate in a letter in the mail, but not face to face when meeting someone new? I don't really know how I would answer that question if I was you.
My thoughts race so quickly, that I'm not even sure what my thoughts or feelings are. Right now, am I in a bad mood? Sure. Sure I am. But other than last night am I good? Yes, I'm great. Right? Because aren't things with friends splendid lately? (mostly)
I can picture your awkard face, your mouth scrunched up with one eye closed. I wish I saw this face more often. Not because I want to see you being awkward, that's not really what I mean.
One of my best friends is coming to town Sunday night. It'll be great, but I'm really worried I'm not going to have the time I want to see her. This is an ongoing problem.
So AM I lowering my standards? I don't even know. Actually, I don't think I am. Just try and guess what I'm talking about why dont ya? See how weird and confusing all of this is? That's what it's like in my head all the time(!). Glad you don't have to hear it? I like me best when I'm sitting and neither person feels the need to talk.
There are certain conversations that two people are supposed to have when they are meeting eachother. What is your opinion on this issue, what is your opinion on that? And I get so exhausted of going over the same things every time.
Well anyways. So yesterday wasn't too good, maybe today will be okay.
(The good parts of yesterday in brief: My sister's birthday, going to thriftstores with Kelsey (awesome jacket boughten. Book gotten (need to return the other to joshua). Random movie boughten.), Yup I guess that's it. )
Okay time to pick up car.
lovelovelove